The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

I love this book.

One of my favorite quotes is an excerpt from it. It kind of reminds me of  myself.

“And when she started becoming a ‘young lady’ and no one was allowed to look at her because she thought she was fat. And how she really wasn’t fat. And how she was actually very pretty. And how different her face looked when she realized boys thought she was pretty. And how different her face looked the first time she really liked a boy who was not on a poster on her wall. And how her face looked when she realized she was in love with that boy. And then I wondered how her face would look when she came out from behind those doors.”

Great book that everyone should read.

On a totally different note..

I am extremely happy right now(:

That boy that I missed.. I think we’re closer than ever, and it is the absolute best. Through all the rough times I’m having, he’s there and I couldn’t ask for anything more. I’m ready for that boy to come see me so we can finally get some ice cream together, ahah.

“it was a rush, what a rush.” (:

i missed you quite terribly.

i haven’t written in a long time.. and decided it was time to start my blog up again. honestly, i haven’t gotten on the internet, period, much lately. i sat here for hours looking at this blank screen and had no idea what to write. i figured i might as well let you in on the only thing that’s really on my mind.

i’m a dork, and love to irc.. i’ve gotten pretty close to a lot of the people i chat with. now that i’m getting back online like i used to, i feel so out of touch with them, it’s unreal. so many things i’m behind on.. inside jokes i don’t understand.. people i thought i was close to that i find out now i have no idea about. some of them, though, i’m getting close to all over again. it’s so crazy that i’ve gotten to the point where i care so much about these people. one in particular really gets to me. i don’t know if i’ve ever missed someone so much.. and it’s just mind boggling to me that i miss him so much when i’ve never even met him. i’m incredibly excited that he and i are getting close again.. and i hope we can get back to the way we used to be. life is getting so much better now that i have the people i need back in my life. honestly, i couldn’t be any happier (:

To Write Love On Her Arms <3

So.. I recently started supporting a group called “To Write Love On Her Arms”. In the beginning, I just thought of it as a cool way to get involved, meet new people, etc. It wasn’t until really reading about and starting to promote the group that I understood just how helpful and amazing it is. For those who don’t know about TWLOHA, it’s a non profit organization that is promoting rehabilitation and hope for people who have substance abuse, depression, and self injury problems. As a person who previously struggled with self injury, I can definitely understand what others are going through. It’s so amazing that I can be a part of a group who is helping so many people that have suicide or cutting on their mind find hope. They can be sure that as long as TWLOHA is around, there is always someone they can talk to that can understand them, and show them that hope and love is out there, and can be theirs. This movement is for broken people, by broken people. I honestly believe if more people get involved, TWLOHA can change the world. I’m thrilled to be getting more involved and knowing I can help someone through the same struggles I dealt with. I know I wish someone had been there to help with mine, so you can only imagine the joy I have of knowing I’m promoting a group that can ease someone’s mind of the same worries and pains I had. I highly encourage everyone that reads this to get out there and support To Write Love On Her Arms with me and so many others. Simply buying a t-shirt at your local Hot Topic or on twloha.com will send proceeds to rehabilitation centers that are helping struggling people through their pain. If you’re interested in getting even more involved you can join the street team at http://towriteloveonherarms.fancorps.com/ to get the word out, and you can even intern with TWLOHA.  So many people can benefit from just a little time on your part.

 

                                                               <3S

Hospital

So I’ve been in the hospital with my grandma for the past 4 days and I’m absolutely tired of staring at these dreary blue walls. Hence why I have decided to bore you with pointless blogging. Blah, blah, blah. Not much has been going on with me since the birthday and the days following. Speaking of, I did happen to attend what had to be the most amazing concert ever. Chiodos has to be the best band ever. Other than that, I’ve had an uneventful past 2 weeks. My grandma happens to be totally out of it and bitching thanks to muscle relaxers and multiple meds, so, until next time.. Love you all <3

birthday

im legal now <3

i hope this years birthday wish comes true… its a good one =)

lame blank verse poem

I could never explain how much I desire to break through your wall of distance
How I long for us to resurrect feelings in one another, ones only you and I can share
So no longer will we be oblivious to the intensity of our emotions
And you will see how my whole being shines radiantly with pure love for you

The way you illuminate my life is so unlike anything I’ve experienced before
Sweet thoughts take refuge in my mind any time you enter my head
You’ve allowed me to understand how absolutely amazing real love is
It’s so unique and causes my heart to be taken hostage by your overwhelmingly caring nature

My entire soul is devoured by the intense need to be in your possession
And as sure as every day breaks and every night falls, I will continue to wait for that need to be relinquished

illusions

So… It just so happens that I created this blog on what is turning out to be the most confusing day of my life. This should be a treat for you all =) It’s sort of funny (and horridly terrible at the same time) that when I think I have my life figured out, and I’m starting to actually get content and possibly happy with the way things are, I find out the most unexpected thing. The weird thing is that I heard this.. and it was a pleasant surprise. Knowing this bit of information is just making me wonder what could come out of it. I think this could actually make me really happy.. But of course, I’m happy, so someone/something has to totally tear me down and ruin it.. right? If you said yes, you’re very correct. *applause ensues* My friend, who I can totally trust with everything I have, tells me something that totally ruins what I found out. Pisses me off, can’t I enjoy 10 minutes of joy? What’s really starting to confuse me is the fact that I’m so excited about what I did find out, it makes me upset for my friend to ruin it. I’m actually considering just ignoring what they told me, and I have never done that before. Am I just making myself think that this is going to happen because it will make me happy? Is it all just false hope that will tear me down in the end.. a false illusion?

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